S.O.L....

I decided that this week I'd give some of my Favorite Malcolmisms that were in Acronym format - I won't give you the meanings - It will just be funnier if you figure them out on your own.

Last Sunday I watched the Spruce play the Quebec Caribou - It was entertaining, and went right down to the wire - Spruce lost by a couple of points and a couple of feet. That's where the title of this blog comes from.

Black Spruce Rugby was dreamed up nine or ten Christmas Eves ago at Jay McKay's house, alot of the usual culprits were present - We came up with the name for the new Rugby Canada Super League Franchaise that we would launch that coming Spring. Black Spruce Rugby - afterall the Black Spruce is the dominant Tree in Northern NB, it's hardy, tough and can grow on rocks - so was born The Spruce. (We also Kicked around the name NB POWER - but we thought that the copyright laws would get us and no one would like us, but on the other hand we could raise our ticket prices every six months without rhyme or reason.)

The Spruce Play the Niagara Thunder tonight - so good luck Boys - give them hell.

Could Chew the Nuts off a Hubcap...

This Expression is a neat one - the last time I heard Dad use it was to Decsribe my mother after she felt the Loyalists were unfairly treated by a Referee in our first Game in Edmonton. I have no Idea about the origin of this expression, except that I assume it has something to do with a flat tire - and a misplaced wrench. So somebody got so mad they chewed the nuts (Lugnuts) off the hubcap.

I can only imagine that the driver of this fine Meat Truck felt the same way as he heard the screech of metal on metal - which I can only assume was followed by a very loud curse.

"He was headed to Victory, Then he hit a Bridge"

Couldn't Hit a Cow in the Ass with a Shovel...

This Malcolmism surrounds Aim and the ability to reach a goal - as described in the most simple terms - but it does bring up some good questions 1- Why would you want to hit a cow? and B- How could you possibly miss (List Courtesy of Normie) - I guess the mental picture is what Malcolm wanted us to see so that we could fathom the magnitude of the blunder.

Two Championships in two nights going to the team I didn't want to win - nothing against the Heat - it is their first championship - so good on them, but last night it was more of a case of Dallas Losing the Championship rather than Miami winning it.

This is what brought this expression to mind - Great teams find a way to win in the end, I think the Mavs lost the last three games by one point each game - that's a hell of a way to lose.

I was once at a job interview and the last question was " Do you Love to win or do you Hate to lose? " - Personally I hate Losing way more than I enjoy winning, but my Favorite part is the battle to decide which of the two (Winner or Loser) you'll end up at the end of the game.

For the Mavs there is always next year - the only reason I like them is because of a story Simon has about Nowitski bartending and his Ghetto-German accent and his perpetual $5 Happy Hour.

So remember even if you miss the cow 9/10 times, make sure you're swinging that shovel with all you've got because sooner or later you'll make contact and that 10th time is Magic...

Horse Shoes and Hand Grenades...

This is a widely used expression, and a good one - Malcolm used it tons, trying to get me to accomplish a goal and not just come close, because more often than not, close is not good enough except in the two before mentioned situations. I am not a huge hockey fan, My moods aren't affected by the fortunes of the Sens, I don't watch every Leafs game and bemoan their early playoff exits, and frankly I couldn't care less if the Bruins even played again - But last nigt I was into it - I may not love hockey - but I do love sports, the thrill of the fight - and last night it was a fight well fought.

These playoffs I rekindled a childhood romance with the Oilers, it didn't hurt that the Loyalists were out in Edmonton (You can't help but to get caught up in the Oil Rush) - I think I may be back on the bandwagon.

I would have loved to see the Oilers win, but it wasn't to be, they gave it all they had and the Carolina Goalie was good last night - I know how they feel - I've lost more games than I've won, and they all suck- It's always better to end your season on a win than on a loss, but I guess last night close wasn't good enough...

Attention Span of a Gnat...

I have been very fortunate in my life to have so many father figures - Malcolm first of all, who taught me many lessons about life through seemingly odd expressions - so that a kid with the "Attention Span of a Gnat" would be able to store them away and call on them when needed - Genius!!! There was also my namesake grandfathers (Thomas and Lee), My Uncles (Jim, Mike, Mike, Jim, Kevin, Tim, John, Bev, Donnie, Gerry,Tommy, John), Nicki's Dad Rick, there was also all of my Parents Friends (Peter Pacey most comes to mind) and last but not least my friends who have become fathers ("Now that's Parenting" - Jackman) They have all taught me very different, yet all important lessons - sometimes they didn't know They were teaching, sometimes I didn't know I was learning - but in the end it has shaped me into the Father I am and hope to be for Sophie - So many thanks - Happy Father's Day

I re-watched "O Brother Where art Thou" last week and I heard this Siren song "Go to Sleep Little Baby" - Which put the heros into a deep sleep - I've been humming it in my head ever since, hoping some of it rubs off on Sophie I guess (She hasn't been sleeping all that well) a bedtime plea to my wonderful daughter on my first Father's Day. Although I can imagine that Malcolm uttered such words at me and my Sis many years ago - he told me that I cried everytime I saw him for the first three years of my life - Mama's Boy I guess.

It's been quite a weekend - Saturday was the re-vitalized Rebel 7's Rugby Tourney - which both the Loyalist Men and Women Won (The men actually played the other Loyalist Team in the final) Then Jenn came to town with Baz. He's at least twice as big as he was last time we saw him - which isn't saying much, I think he weighs 4 lbs. We hung out and tried to somehow con Sophie into falling asleep, she finally called it a night at12:50am - as did I - Funny how that works out.

So today is father's day and we are having the whole crew over for a BBQ - we've got tons of good eats and it should be a great afternoon. Hopefully Sophie sleeps again sometime soon and keeps an entire meal down for a change.

Lucky You Aren't Made of Suger or Salt...

I heard this expression plenty when I was young - It's about being out in the rain, or getting wet in general - I repeated this phrase a few times over the past few days, as it seems we're smack dab in the middle of Monsoon season. I think we got more rain last weekend then we did all last June - anyways It's wet - Mini Rugby went off without a hitch this morning - the kids are great and they love getting wet and muddy.

Now I guess this expression is fairly simple - but as a child I thought I was lucky that I wasn't made out of Suger or Salt, therefore maybe there were kids that were actually made of suger and/or salt - so these kids couldn't go out and enjoy the rain. So I went on to learn that all humans are made of Sugar (in their blood) and Salt (through their whole bodies) - but we're also 80% made up of water - I guess that's what our skin is for, to hold us together - but I'm not a biologist (you'd have to ask my mom). Regardless - I've always loved running around in the rain, jumping in puddles and catching raindrops in my mouth.

The rain can cleanse - and it did today, wiping out a 14 year losing steak that NB Senior Rugby teams had against their Bluenose rivals - today the slate was wiped clean - as the Spruce beat the Keltics 26-7 - way to go Spruce - Enjoy the celabratory Rain Dance tonight - you've earned it.

Don't think twice about the sugar or the salt, just Enjoy the Colorado Kool Aid...

He'd Swim Through a River of Shit and Take a Mouthful Every Stroke...

This is a great expression - and one that has uses in more than one situation. Firstly the way that dad used (uses) it most - as pertaining to a person with a generous spirit - that someone would go to that length to help you. The second use is that the person was a Glutton for punishment - I enjoy the first one better - my whole life dad seemed to put extra emphasis on being determined - the phrase "Dogged Determination" pops into my head alot - there is alot to be said for being determined, Not quitting when others would - this definately separates the Successful from the mediocre -

One of the most generous and Determined guys I know returned to Freddy this week - Slippy is Back! After a few years of the US and a couple more in Hogtown - he's brought Trixie and (Soon to be) baby Slipp home. Any day now his life will change forever, we're all glad that they're back so that we can share in their magic. He also starts to work for NBLCC which is very exciting and Dangerous at the same time.

Keep on Swimming...

It's Not the Size of the Dog in the Fight that Matters, It's the Size of the Fight in the Dog...

Non Malcolmism - He has said it, but I think it actually has a more famous originator - It's a great quote about Perseverance, and I truly believe it, being metaphorically, a smaller dog most of my life. Sophie saw her first Black Spruce Games yesterday, The Spruce played well against a very talented Rock team - I counted no less than 6 Canadian internationals on the field - The Score was 27-3 at full time, but the Spruce deserved better, Their defence was courageous and they played the full 80 minutes - The Rock Backrow was very aggresive and caused some issues offensively for the Spruce - The ball was also a Greased Pig due to the inclement weather and this also cost the Spruce some points in my estimation. Next week the boys travel to Nova Scotia to exact some payback as they take on the Keltics.

The regular performers (Simon, JB, Aaen, Jackman, Blake, Rowney, Mookie) played well as did some newer players (Jebb and Chauncey) - Things look promising for the Spruce of 2006.

Yesterday we also heard that Raena and Jones had another baby girl - River Jones - Congrats to the proud parents.

The Year of the Big Carrots in Carleton County...

Dad used this expression fairly often - it was always to describe a non specific year in the past when something terrific had happened, The expression itself is odd because if you are from New Brunswick, you know Carleton County, not for it's carrots, but for it Potatoes - afterall it is the Home of McCain's. Maybe that's why that particular year was such an oddity, maybe that year the carrots were abnormally sized - anyways it's Carleton County so it doesn't have to make perfect sense, it simply has to be nice, couretous and served with a side of fries. Well summer has hit Freddy Beach and the weather is hot - rugby season has begun (it actually began for the Loyalists months ago) and we are gearing up to host the Black Spruce Match Vs. The Rock - should be a great game - The Rock are the reigning RCSL champions - and always a tough match - Kick off is at 2pm on Saturday, it will be well worth the admission - Canadian Prop Rod Snow is making the trip, and he is a hell of a player. We are also hosting a Silent Auction to support the "Relay for Life" There are tons of cool Gift certificates and some very cool art, along with Rugby Jerseys and Bar Schwag.

The Jones' are expecting any second now (Unlike this guy, he has no Idea what is coming), today is the due date and Jonesy said that it was going to happen anytime when I talked to him on Tuesday night - good luck Raena our prayers and best wishes are with you.

Speaking of Babies - the Slippy's are coming home - in less than a week - Tracey is 30+ weeks pregnant and the arrival of a little Slipp is close at hand - Homecomings are a great thing - welcome back to where you belong.

Sophie is amazing - she smiles all the time and has been talking alot - She seems like she has tons to say and is just working on her english, anyways that's a dad's opinion on the matter.


I wonder if at some point in the future when relating stories to Sophie or Baby Jones, or Baby Slipp if I'll refer back to 2006 as the year of the Big Carrots in Carleton County? I hope so...