Couldn't Hit a Cow in the Ass with a Shovel...

This Malcolmism surrounds Aim and the ability to reach a goal - as described in the most simple terms - but it does bring up some good questions 1- Why would you want to hit a cow? and B- How could you possibly miss (List Courtesy of Normie) - I guess the mental picture is what Malcolm wanted us to see so that we could fathom the magnitude of the blunder.

Two Championships in two nights going to the team I didn't want to win - nothing against the Heat - it is their first championship - so good on them, but last night it was more of a case of Dallas Losing the Championship rather than Miami winning it.

This is what brought this expression to mind - Great teams find a way to win in the end, I think the Mavs lost the last three games by one point each game - that's a hell of a way to lose.

I was once at a job interview and the last question was " Do you Love to win or do you Hate to lose? " - Personally I hate Losing way more than I enjoy winning, but my Favorite part is the battle to decide which of the two (Winner or Loser) you'll end up at the end of the game.

For the Mavs there is always next year - the only reason I like them is because of a story Simon has about Nowitski bartending and his Ghetto-German accent and his perpetual $5 Happy Hour.

So remember even if you miss the cow 9/10 times, make sure you're swinging that shovel with all you've got because sooner or later you'll make contact and that 10th time is Magic...

Horse Shoes and Hand Grenades...

This is a widely used expression, and a good one - Malcolm used it tons, trying to get me to accomplish a goal and not just come close, because more often than not, close is not good enough except in the two before mentioned situations. I am not a huge hockey fan, My moods aren't affected by the fortunes of the Sens, I don't watch every Leafs game and bemoan their early playoff exits, and frankly I couldn't care less if the Bruins even played again - But last nigt I was into it - I may not love hockey - but I do love sports, the thrill of the fight - and last night it was a fight well fought.

These playoffs I rekindled a childhood romance with the Oilers, it didn't hurt that the Loyalists were out in Edmonton (You can't help but to get caught up in the Oil Rush) - I think I may be back on the bandwagon.

I would have loved to see the Oilers win, but it wasn't to be, they gave it all they had and the Carolina Goalie was good last night - I know how they feel - I've lost more games than I've won, and they all suck- It's always better to end your season on a win than on a loss, but I guess last night close wasn't good enough...

Attention Span of a Gnat...

I have been very fortunate in my life to have so many father figures - Malcolm first of all, who taught me many lessons about life through seemingly odd expressions - so that a kid with the "Attention Span of a Gnat" would be able to store them away and call on them when needed - Genius!!! There was also my namesake grandfathers (Thomas and Lee), My Uncles (Jim, Mike, Mike, Jim, Kevin, Tim, John, Bev, Donnie, Gerry,Tommy, John), Nicki's Dad Rick, there was also all of my Parents Friends (Peter Pacey most comes to mind) and last but not least my friends who have become fathers ("Now that's Parenting" - Jackman) They have all taught me very different, yet all important lessons - sometimes they didn't know They were teaching, sometimes I didn't know I was learning - but in the end it has shaped me into the Father I am and hope to be for Sophie - So many thanks - Happy Father's Day

I re-watched "O Brother Where art Thou" last week and I heard this Siren song "Go to Sleep Little Baby" - Which put the heros into a deep sleep - I've been humming it in my head ever since, hoping some of it rubs off on Sophie I guess (She hasn't been sleeping all that well) a bedtime plea to my wonderful daughter on my first Father's Day. Although I can imagine that Malcolm uttered such words at me and my Sis many years ago - he told me that I cried everytime I saw him for the first three years of my life - Mama's Boy I guess.

It's been quite a weekend - Saturday was the re-vitalized Rebel 7's Rugby Tourney - which both the Loyalist Men and Women Won (The men actually played the other Loyalist Team in the final) Then Jenn came to town with Baz. He's at least twice as big as he was last time we saw him - which isn't saying much, I think he weighs 4 lbs. We hung out and tried to somehow con Sophie into falling asleep, she finally called it a night at12:50am - as did I - Funny how that works out.

So today is father's day and we are having the whole crew over for a BBQ - we've got tons of good eats and it should be a great afternoon. Hopefully Sophie sleeps again sometime soon and keeps an entire meal down for a change.

Lucky You Aren't Made of Suger or Salt...

I heard this expression plenty when I was young - It's about being out in the rain, or getting wet in general - I repeated this phrase a few times over the past few days, as it seems we're smack dab in the middle of Monsoon season. I think we got more rain last weekend then we did all last June - anyways It's wet - Mini Rugby went off without a hitch this morning - the kids are great and they love getting wet and muddy.

Now I guess this expression is fairly simple - but as a child I thought I was lucky that I wasn't made out of Suger or Salt, therefore maybe there were kids that were actually made of suger and/or salt - so these kids couldn't go out and enjoy the rain. So I went on to learn that all humans are made of Sugar (in their blood) and Salt (through their whole bodies) - but we're also 80% made up of water - I guess that's what our skin is for, to hold us together - but I'm not a biologist (you'd have to ask my mom). Regardless - I've always loved running around in the rain, jumping in puddles and catching raindrops in my mouth.

The rain can cleanse - and it did today, wiping out a 14 year losing steak that NB Senior Rugby teams had against their Bluenose rivals - today the slate was wiped clean - as the Spruce beat the Keltics 26-7 - way to go Spruce - Enjoy the celabratory Rain Dance tonight - you've earned it.

Don't think twice about the sugar or the salt, just Enjoy the Colorado Kool Aid...

He'd Swim Through a River of Shit and Take a Mouthful Every Stroke...

This is a great expression - and one that has uses in more than one situation. Firstly the way that dad used (uses) it most - as pertaining to a person with a generous spirit - that someone would go to that length to help you. The second use is that the person was a Glutton for punishment - I enjoy the first one better - my whole life dad seemed to put extra emphasis on being determined - the phrase "Dogged Determination" pops into my head alot - there is alot to be said for being determined, Not quitting when others would - this definately separates the Successful from the mediocre -

One of the most generous and Determined guys I know returned to Freddy this week - Slippy is Back! After a few years of the US and a couple more in Hogtown - he's brought Trixie and (Soon to be) baby Slipp home. Any day now his life will change forever, we're all glad that they're back so that we can share in their magic. He also starts to work for NBLCC which is very exciting and Dangerous at the same time.

Keep on Swimming...

It's Not the Size of the Dog in the Fight that Matters, It's the Size of the Fight in the Dog...

Non Malcolmism - He has said it, but I think it actually has a more famous originator - It's a great quote about Perseverance, and I truly believe it, being metaphorically, a smaller dog most of my life. Sophie saw her first Black Spruce Games yesterday, The Spruce played well against a very talented Rock team - I counted no less than 6 Canadian internationals on the field - The Score was 27-3 at full time, but the Spruce deserved better, Their defence was courageous and they played the full 80 minutes - The Rock Backrow was very aggresive and caused some issues offensively for the Spruce - The ball was also a Greased Pig due to the inclement weather and this also cost the Spruce some points in my estimation. Next week the boys travel to Nova Scotia to exact some payback as they take on the Keltics.

The regular performers (Simon, JB, Aaen, Jackman, Blake, Rowney, Mookie) played well as did some newer players (Jebb and Chauncey) - Things look promising for the Spruce of 2006.

Yesterday we also heard that Raena and Jones had another baby girl - River Jones - Congrats to the proud parents.

The Year of the Big Carrots in Carleton County...

Dad used this expression fairly often - it was always to describe a non specific year in the past when something terrific had happened, The expression itself is odd because if you are from New Brunswick, you know Carleton County, not for it's carrots, but for it Potatoes - afterall it is the Home of McCain's. Maybe that's why that particular year was such an oddity, maybe that year the carrots were abnormally sized - anyways it's Carleton County so it doesn't have to make perfect sense, it simply has to be nice, couretous and served with a side of fries. Well summer has hit Freddy Beach and the weather is hot - rugby season has begun (it actually began for the Loyalists months ago) and we are gearing up to host the Black Spruce Match Vs. The Rock - should be a great game - The Rock are the reigning RCSL champions - and always a tough match - Kick off is at 2pm on Saturday, it will be well worth the admission - Canadian Prop Rod Snow is making the trip, and he is a hell of a player. We are also hosting a Silent Auction to support the "Relay for Life" There are tons of cool Gift certificates and some very cool art, along with Rugby Jerseys and Bar Schwag.

The Jones' are expecting any second now (Unlike this guy, he has no Idea what is coming), today is the due date and Jonesy said that it was going to happen anytime when I talked to him on Tuesday night - good luck Raena our prayers and best wishes are with you.

Speaking of Babies - the Slippy's are coming home - in less than a week - Tracey is 30+ weeks pregnant and the arrival of a little Slipp is close at hand - Homecomings are a great thing - welcome back to where you belong.

Sophie is amazing - she smiles all the time and has been talking alot - She seems like she has tons to say and is just working on her english, anyways that's a dad's opinion on the matter.


I wonder if at some point in the future when relating stories to Sophie or Baby Jones, or Baby Slipp if I'll refer back to 2006 as the year of the Big Carrots in Carleton County? I hope so...

My Lovely Wife...

Nicki had a birthday a week ago, We spent the day celebrating in Edmonton, The entirety of Ellerslie Rugby Club sang her happy birthday, started by Lika, and MJ bought her Cheesecake at Overtime that we enjoyed at Earl's - We were even Able to raise the Sleeping O - to join us at the Iron Horse, Nic had more fun than anyone, with the exception of Wader or Simon. This was the first good birthday that my lovely wife had in awhile, because usually on Victoria Day weekend I'm playing rugby (which I was) but this time she was with me enjoying herself.

She is quite a lady, a wife and a mother - so happy b-day pretty girl - We Love you!

Neemy and Sophes

The Birthday Fairy

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda...

It's been sometime since my last post - Our Rugby team went to Edmonton, to take part in the first ever National Championships, we had a good draw actually, we Played the UBCOB Ravens - they were alright, but we dominated the play and were quite unfortunate to not come away with the win, They next game was against The Strahcona Druids from Edmonton, they are the Alberta Champs and quite a good squad - we had some behavioural issues and ended playing the game with 14 men - All our younger Loyalists got in and played great, but we were a little behind on the scoresheet and lost 23-18 (We had actually thought the score was 20-18, and I was devastated as I pushed the Conversion right on full time) - anyways we were 0-2, not the start we envisioned for our squad - we continued to do the right things - The entire team went across the highway and discovered the phenomenon known as Earl's , we watched the Oilers wrap up the West Semi Final and had an early night. Bring on the weekend - Our game on Saturday was against the U of Winnepeg Wombats - we won our first game by a score of 27-0 and were in a better mood - Nic and I spent the Afternoon at the Grey Nuns Hospital, as I had been hit in the eye and my pupil wouldn't constrict (Still won't) - I was given the all clear to play on Sunday and there was no chance of further vison issues, except an aversion to bright light, as it will produce headaches. So Sunday morning bright and early we tyook on the Balmy Beach Rugby Club - The Ontario Provincial Champs - we were there early and warmed up, raring to go - they showed up at kick off and looked less than spectacular - we beat them 57-17 (they had a very quick winger) - we proceeded to have a Great Sunday and Nicki really had a good Birthday - We (Nic and I) stayed in Edmonton with our friends the Ayottes -We went to the mall and enjoyed a great evening of food, fun and conversation - we got up early and headed for the airport - although we weren't scheduled to leave until Midnight, we thought we'd give it a shot afterall we had been missing Sophie since the previous Wednesday - The Air Canada Lady in Edmonton was super nice and got us out ASAP - unfortunately we ran into some upper Canadian attitude in Hogtown and we got to "Enjoy the City" - we got home as scheduled on Wednesday and we were met by Malcolm - who was eager to get us home so that we could see Sophie.

All in all it was a great trip - it had been too long since I got to spend some quality time with some of my favorite people - We had an adjoining room to them for most of the trip.

So back to the Malcolmism - It's not his, but as a youngster I was all about blaming someone else for the things - and making excuses why things didn't go my way - Dad would look at me and say Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda - simply put, that if I didn't like the way things were going, do something to change them, but excuses are weak - There were alot of excuses flying around on Thursday night and Friday, but we made the most of it and accepted the responsablity and kept on going, not content to simply accept our fate, we worked to change it. While other teams made excuses (they were missing this many players, or they had been drinking since Thursday) for their choices - in the end we are all grown up and get to make choices based on what we want the outcomes to be...

Mini Rugby 1978 - 2006 Edition

Mini Rugby 1978 - 1978 Edition

On a sad note : Matty Thorpe Who is in both pictures above, ended his Rugby playing career after the Game Vs. The Druids, apparently he had been carrying a knock for awhile and his body had finally said enough. It was very fitting that he was able to end it back where it all began with those of us that are still at it after all these years.

Matty it's been my pleasure, Godspeed...

No Need to be Poor and Look Poor...

This is a great expression that dad says every now and then - On the surface it sounds like - the addage "Fake it until you make it" when I think of it it is more of an attitude adjustment. I guess it could mean that it doesn't matter where you come from, you should act like you belong where you are.

I'm taking it with me out west Tomorrow, The Loyalists are ready to rumble, and we have worked hard to get where we are going and we will make the most of the opportunity that we have earned. We have been doing lots of fundraising, as the $30000 price tag to compete for the national title is quite steep. We have almost all of our big boys on board - we are missing a couple to Work (Wally and Eagers) and a couple to injury (Cammy and Dusty) - but we are also welcoming a few Loyalists of Old back into the fold - Fudgey, Thorpe, Kelso and MJ. So it evens out.

Reminds me of a Tennyson Poem as well...

Tho' much is taken, much abides;

and tho'We are not now that strength which in the old days

Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;

One equal-temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

So now the Loyalists are heading out west all polished up - we don't look poor and we won't act poorly - we are expecting big things from ourselves...

Many are Cold, But few are Frozen...

This is a punch line that Dad used to deliver to make my sister and I laugh in Church - as it plays off a famous remark- I was reminded of it today - This morning our Daughter Sophie was baptised, it was very cool - She cried a little and got everybody's attention in the church, but she is a showboat like her father - but was quiet as a mouse as the water was poured over her head - she is quite a little lady.

We were joined afterwards by family at Fort Awesome - there was a great spread of food put together by Nanny Mac, Gramie Lou, Auntie Meghan and Great Aunt Judy. There were two Great Grandmothers, Three Great Aunts, Four Great Uncles, Four Grandparents, Two Aunts, an Uncle, a Godfather two Parents and Sophie (Two Mutts and a Cocktail Weiner Dog) - What a Morning - Lots of laughs and much Love.

It was also Nic's first Mother's Day - Sophie bought her a book (Sophie you owe me some cash, I'll add it to your bill) and she had a wonderful day.

I even think there was some fresh Sqozen Orange Juice...

Godspeed...

I started writing this Blog many months ago - When My Uncle Mike died - so Saturday the MacAfees (and Breens) headed up to Victoria County to say goodbye to one of our own - it was a burial in every sense of the word - Friday Timmy, Kevin and Malcolm dug the grave (with emotional support from Judy) and on Saturday Morning, WE all buried him - He would have liked it that way - there was something very personal and real taking a shovel full of Plaster Rock's finest soil to bury one of Plaster Rock's finest Souls. My cousin Margaret is doing great, she is an accomplished Mathelte and can hit a mean fastball - she has an old soul and the heart of a child - alot like her dad.

After we were all done, and the grave was raked - we were ready to go, we raised a glass to Micheal and dad poured him one more for the road...

Godspeed Uncle Mike... See you at the Sarsfield...

Shit or Swim...

This is an original Malcolmism - in fact the only time I've ever heard it was 10 minutes ago on the phone - it is an unintentional combination of two more familar expressions "Shit or Go Blind" and "Sink or Swim" - Either way the message was clear - it was decision time.

The conversation surrounded putting our "collective all" into this National Invitational Club Championship, and that we've already invested too much money to do any of it half assed.

Which reminded me of another lesson that my father had imparted to me at some point - Don't correct people! that is to say don't correct people if you know what they were trying to say, or if being correct doesn't really matter. You know what they were trying to say - you won't make anyone feel stupid or silly and the relationship is almost always more important than the details.
On the Sophie Front - she is growing and doing well, she met Jenn's dog Basil on the weekend and was quite impressed.

The Nutritional Value of Moth Droppings...

This is a good expression - Probably not Malcolm's but he said it enough that it is forged into my subconscience - The food stuff that he most often connected to this wonderful expression was white bread - We very rarely had it in the MacAfee household. Everytime I seee white bread I am reminded that you might just as well be eating Moth Poop - and I also know from my childhood that moths eat old clothes (and they like flames) so their poop would most likely be old eaten clothes - doesn't sound too healthy.

But wait - there is now whole grain (all the nutrition of Whole wheat) bread that looks and tastes like white bread - interested? Yes I am - It is also 3 times more expensive than the Moth refuse bread - so my curiosity has subsided for the moment.

Dad also saw some other things in that same light - Fluff comes to mind, also Fruit Loops - I think today's youth are more health aware - at Mini Rugby for instance - When I stated 28 years ago we were weened on a steady diet of Mini Sips (ancestor of the drinking Box), Mrs. Dunster's Doughnuts and Hot Chocolate - Since I now run the Mini rugby show I tried to stay old school - and provide them with the same snacks - only problem is - kids want to eat healthier - so now we also have bananas, Apples, Milk and Water - I think this bodes well for the youth of tomorrow.

I used to eat Caramel spread between two pieces of White bread...

Red Sky at Night...

This is an expression that is shrouded in contrevacy - All I know for sure is that one night on the way home from rugby, it was hot and one of the little known world famous Saint John River Valley Sunsets was working itself down the river - the sky was red and Someone (I think it was me) said Red Sky at night - Nice Freakin day Tomorrow (the language was stronger) and it was and the expression stuck. Other versions of this are - Pizza Delight (Winston would bring Slippy to Pizza Delight), Sailor's delight - was going to be smooth sailing the next day. Both Jackman and Aaen claim ownership of this littl gem - although I believe it predates 1996, so I think it is between Jackman and I.
Who cares really, as long as I know who really said it.

He Had Muscles in his Face...

Dad uses this expression to describe someone that is very tough, funny most of his friends could be described as tough guys. Here's a poem that I must have read a hundred times growing up at my house - It was what I came to think of when I thought of tough guys - not those guys that get in fights or act all tough - but the people (lots of tough women) that keep on going when normal people would quit - that's tough.


The Quitter

When you're lost in the Wild,
and you're scared as a child,
And Death looks you bang in the eye,
And you're sore as a boil,
it's according to Hoyle
To cock your revolver and . . . die.

But the Code of a Man says: "Fight all you can,
"And self-dissolution is barred.
In hunger and woe, oh, it's easy to blow . . .
It's the hell-served-for-breakfast that's hard.

"You're sick of the game!" Well, now that's a shame.
You're young and you're brave and you're bright.
"You've had a raw deal!" I know — but don't squeal,
Buck up, do your damnedest, and fight.
It's the plugging away that will win you the day,
So don't be a piker, old pard!
Just draw on your grit, it's so easy to quit.
It's the keeping-your chin-up that's hard.

It's easy to cry that you're beaten — and die;
It's easy to crawfish and crawl;
But to fight and to fight when hope's out of sight —
Why that's the best game of them all!
And though you come out of each gruelling bout,
All broken and battered and scarred,
Just have one more try — it's dead easy to die,
It's the keeping-on-living that's hard.

Comfortable as an Old Boot...

Well - 35 years have now passed since I first entered the world - I was born and a very early age, I was 7lbs, 7oz (I'm significantly heavier now) early that Saturday Morning at the Hotel Dieu in Chatham, my folks were visiting My Nanny and Grampie Flynn in St. Margaret's when the time came.

35 years seems like a long time - I spent last week recounting stories from my past to the youth of Charlotte Co. It was a great experience - I probably got as much out of it as they did. maybe more. Anyways looking back - I've done some good living, had alot of laughs and met some great people - I guess that's all any of us can ask for.

So as far as I'm concerned today is Mother's day and Father's day all rolled into one - As we are currently going through the very same sleep deprived stage that My parents must have gone through all those many nights ago - It takes alot of work to raise a child (and alot of People), and I was a handful - so thanks Mom and Dad for the guidance, the unending support and for always telling me that "good things come in small packages" - I always thought I understood, but it seems a whole lot clearer now.

I didn't feel old this morning - I felt comfortable, what a wonderful feeling.

Scare a Funeral up an Alley...

After Half Hair Cut

Well this is a fun expression and I beleive a true Malcolmism - I've never heard anyone else ever use it, let alone understand it. My Explanation is as follows - Malcolm often uses it to describe scary looking people, with the gist being that a funeral is a fairly scary thing in and of itself, so that if a Funeral was willing to cower down an alley from something, that thing must be quite horrific.

I'm almost positive that the intention of this expression was to describe how scary looking someone was by using the association with a Funeral / Death - but as I think about it more, I did get Three hours of Sleep last night, could it also be used to say that there are worse things than death, the one that comes to mind is not living your life - because at the end of it all I hope that you could look back at all the things that you've done, all the Places you've been and all the people that your life has touched and pass away with a smile on your face. A life well lived is it's own reward.

One more thought on Scary People - They are only scary looking if you don't get to know them, because after you know them, looks matter less and personality matters more. The ones that you really have to watch out for are the ones that look good but are scary on the inside, then it's really time to head up that alley...

On a completely unrelated topic - My wonderful Sister had a birthday yesterday - she sure makes me smile and she is living her life to the fullest - Happy B-Day Megs

Post Half Marathon (With Katie)

Dark as the Inside of a Horse...

I like this expression - very descriptive and timely as I've been as Stan Rogers would say on "Night Guard" as my dearest little girl is a Night Owl - In truth she just has her days and Nights a bit mixed up, but I've got alot of room for her and I've started to enjoy late night TV (Thinking about investing in a Sauna Belt) - I have managed to catch up on "Dead Like Me" and catch a few sweet episodes of the Simpsons - while perfecting my Indiana Jones Moves (That's how you have to put a sleeping Baby into her Crib so as to not disturb her) and avoid the booby traps.

Fatherhood is Fantastic - I'm tired all the time, I'm busy as hell and I can't keep a thought in my head - But I do have two fantastic ladies that I get to come home to nightly, so I'd say I'm ahead of the game.

but I digress - so how does one get a good look at the inside of a horse? use your imagination...

He said he was a Lion Tamer, Turned out to be a Lying Bastard...

Actual Lion Tamer

This is a funny play on words that Dad used to say every now and then - I thought of it after the Throne Speech - which brings another one of dad's expressions about a couple of different piles.

Anyways life @ Fort Awesome is well... awesome - Sophie is a source of daily amazement, and the sleep deprivation is also having a calming effect on my day to day demeanor. Crazy how much work taking care of one teeny tiny person can be. Sure makes you appreciate the work that your parents put into you.

Rugby is starting to get into full swing - the earliest that I can remember - which is good as we have between 4 and 6 warm up games scheduled before we head out to Edmonton to take on the best teams in the country. The training has been good - I'm loving Pilates

so that's it - it's the weekend and I've been a dad for two weeks - life is sweet - just watch out for those Lion Tamer's...

Give A Monkey a Typewriter...

Dad used to say this quite a bit, it concludes ...and sooner or later he'll spell a word - It tells about the trial and error method, which I'm firmly entrenched in these days. We've read lots of books and heard tons of advice on parenting - yet our little girl seems to be writing her own manual. So I'll keep on joyfully hammering away at that typewrite and see what I come up with.

You Can Sleep When You're Dead...

Dad often told me this as a motivation to get me out of bed - I like to nap and sleep - as do many of the people I know - except one special little lady who really hasn't picked up this trait from me yet - she sleeps, but she does it on her schedule - which changes all the time. When I think of this expression, it makes me think about making the most of the time we have - and the fact that you can always have more fun while you are awake - no one has ever said -"I may have missed a great time, but I had a really good nap" - We sleep to give our minds and bodies a rest - so that we can have more goodtimes.

I'm sure that I'll spend many sleepless nights with Sophie and you know that part that I'll remember the most - That I got to spend all those nights with Sophie...

If I Was Any Better There Would Be Two of Me...

This isn't a true Malcolmism, but it does show us where we come from - This one is straight out of the Miramichi - I'm sure two guys are starting a conversation like this somewhere in Taintville as I write "How's she goin'" - "If I was any better there would be two of me". the premise being that one person would, or couldn't fell this good - that's what I'm feeling at the moment - That and complete and utter exhaustion (I wonder if Cows feel udder exhaustion after they give birth) any ways my girls are home safe and sound and we are figuring each other's schedules out - Sophie eats every three hours 5-8-11-2-5-8-11-2-5 - so those overnight feedings are a challenge at the moment - were just getting used to them - but were hanging tough because we have a New Kid on the Block... ouch that was bad - but in my defense I haven't been sleeping, but we've already estabished that.

What a wonderful feeling having a little person in our lives -So far she has my ears and my one dimple - we also share a hairstyle (2005 Bed Head) - so I guess you could say from now on that there are two of me, just one of us is tiny and beautiful...

On The Day You Were Born...

On the day you were born,

There were two moons in the sky.

On the day you were born,

The world got a little brighter.

On the day you were born,

I met the woman that would consume my life.

On the day you were born,

We welcomed a new member to "Our Gang"

On the day you were born,

I got a 5th best friend.

On the day you were born,

I got a new favorite word.

On the day you were born,

We truly became a family.

On the day you were born,

If I was any better there'd be two of me.

On the day you were born,

I discovered that your Mother was the Toughest Person I know.

On the day you were born,

The Nurses and Doctor were at their best.

On the day you were born,

I caught a Glimpse of God.

On the day you were born,

You weighed 8lbs and 15 oz.

On the day you were born,

We named you Sophie Nicole MacAfee.

It was quite a day, the day you were born...

Flatter Than Piss on a Plate...

This is a Malcolm expression that deals with excitement - as illustrated by the lovely vision of bodily fluid on a eating surface - which is gross - but the expression is said like this to conjur the mental picture of flatness, maybe it is so flat because no one would want to touch it - anyways - it's about being less than enthused about something.

So the mood at the MacAfee house is a little flat these past few days, although we are super excited about the birth of our first child - we just want it to happen already - but all we can do is wait, and that's the hard part of all of this - waiting and the fact that there's nothing for us to do, because there is nothing we can do. So we wait...

The longest we'll have to wait is tomorrow at 7:30 - that's when they'll induce Nic - so hopefully we'll be parents sometime tomorrow.

In other News - Pilates is super hard, and awesome all at once - check out Pilates By Garda on Queen - they'll whip you into shape. The Esteem team is in full swing - I'm going on a tour of southwestern NB, which involves me doing 3 or more talks to kids a day for 5 days straight - that should be fun - I also found out that I'll get to visit Grand Manan, Campabello Is. and even Whitehead Is. (Home of Katie the Trainer - when she's not in Africa)- It will be great to get out there and try to relate some life lessons to those kids - there's a fantastic energy that kids bring to everything they do - that's the excitement that I'm looking forward to tapping in to.

I'll keep you all (the 3 People that read this)posted, and in the meantime put that plate in the dishwasher and find a toilet...

Didn't Know if his Ass was Punched, Bored, Chewed out by rats out Burnt out in the Miramichi Fire...

This is Malcolm's longest Expression - So St. Patrick's Day has come and gone and no baby- well there was a baby, it just wasn't the one we were waiting for - Congrats to Roy and Marion on the birth of their son Cameron Patrick Hickey, this expression is about being confused and not knowing what is going on, that's kinda where we are at this time - Nic says the Baby is taking after me, as I am often late - I think maybe she is just shy like all of us MacAfee's, or she's a Showboat and wants to keep all of us waiting, either way I hope it happens soon.

here's a little info on the Miramichi Fire of 1825-

On the seventh day of October the air was dry and an eerie stillness of the atmosphere made it hard for one to breathe. By mid-day the sun was blacked out by a dark veil and a faint smell of far off smoke was noticed. In the distance, rumbles were heard and assumed to be thunder and the approach of much needed rain. The blood red sun was erased from the sky by the dark veil, of now noticeable smoke. A tawny, thin line of light was visible on the horizon to the Northwest. Lumbermen said it was far off woods fires or maybe Northern Lights?

Maybe?

That evening the low horizon, as viewed from the south bank of the Miramichi River, the sky began to cast an orange glow. The temperature was over eighty degrees. To hot for October. A breeze picked up from the Northeast. As it did the far off rumble seemed louder and closer.

All at once the entire northern sky was upon the Valley with fire. Seventy miles of flame blazed skyward hundreds of feet. Hurricane winds whipped the fire and the River into a frenzy. Whole flaming trees blew through the air, crashing down upon sailing ships anchored down in the harbor.

Many inhabitants were overwhelmed by the fire, consumed while standing in awe. Many people believed that Judgement Day was upon them and within minutes the entire north bank was engulfed in the inferno.

Animals ran with people following, into the Rivers refuge. One account tells of a bear huddled in the water with cattle and people. Flames roared with deafening thunder, the intense heat melted human and animal flesh and boiled small ponds and streams.

Burning hot embers rained down as far away as Halifax. Smoke crawled through Newfoundland and sailors in the Gulf were unable to navigate with no sun in view for days. All the time hot embers rained down upon their vessels, scorching decks and smouldering rigging and sails.
Sailors also thought it was Judgement Day and prayed accordingly.

You Take the High Road...

The name Macfie derives from its older version MacDuffie which is itself derived from the Gaelic "MacDubhSithe" meaning 'Son of the Dark Fairy or Elf'. This stems from the tradition that the MacFie's had been in touch with the fairy folk that lived under the hills and in many countries the remnants of the original bearers of the name have been conferred with mystic powers. Tradition asserts that the Macfies/MacDuffies are descended from a Selkie or seal woman who cast off her fur to become a beautiful woman and marrying the first Macfie who hid her fur so that she could not return to the sea.

Now that is a good story - It is St. Patrick's day and usually I would be getting ready to go to the Rogue to sit in the corner and enjoy my heritage - but today is the due date of the newest Dark Faerie - and we are anxious and excited all at once. I am wearing the green and supporting the cause by cranking up the Irish music in my office - but I'm a bundle of nerves as I wait for THE CALL - Hopefully I'll be able to introduce our little one to the world later today.
St. Patrick's day has been a special day in my family for some time, my Grandfather passed away on St. Patrick's Day in 1992, my Grandmother passed away last year - I'll be heading down to see them later today.

May your glass be ever full.

May the roof over your head be always strong.

And may you be in heaven a half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

A Watched Pot Never Boils...

This is a Nancism - I remember thinking about this as a kid as I waited for toast to pop. Over time this expression has evolved in my mind from being about food to being about growing. For the past 40 weeks we've been expecting the arrival of our little budle of joy and this past week has felt like someone hit slow motion on the DVD player of our Lives.

The big day is tomorrow - I become a Dad, Nic becomes a Mom and we have to start teaching our little one how to live life - that's a daunting task - and an adventure that we've trained our whole life for.

One might think I was going to refer to me constantly watching Nic's belly - but that isn't it at all.

I don't think watched pot expression is about cooking at all, but I think it has alot more to do with letting people live their lives, learning from their mistakes and enjoying their triumphs - so that they can figuritively boil, which in reality is a change of states, from liquid to vapour, or in life from the present to the future - evolving to a higher state - has a nice ring to it - and all this time I was waiting for the water to boil so I could add the KD and have lunch.

anyways I'm off to Lunch at the Rogue with my dad - next time I write I'll be one as well...

oh yeah , Thanks for the lesson Mom.

The Time has Come the Walrus Said...

Dad used to say this to me nightly - usually when it was time to go to bed and it was usually followed by a reference to the Wooden Mountain, but as it turns out it's from Alice in Wonderland - or Through the Looking Glass - whichever version of the story you are more familiar with.

What got me thinking about this particular expression is the fact that we are all set to have a baby on Friday, and that we are getting tired (pun intended) of waiting , in fact I'd go so far as to say that Nic is Exhausted of waiting. So the time has come...

I am impatient by nature, maybe that's why I used to wake up Christmas morning at 4am, and why I still can't sleep before a big game - anyways as everybody tells me sleep is a precious commodity in the parenting world, but as Simon can tell you, he's an expert in this area, sleep cannot be banked, or saved up - so here's to one more sleepless night and the arrival of our first born...

'The time has come,' the Walrus said,
'To talk of many things:
Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing wax
--Of cabbages -- and kings --
And why the sea is boiling hot --
And whether pigs have wings.'

Big Girl's Blouse...

A great expression - probably not a true Malcolmism, but they say Posession is 9/10 of the law - So I guess it belongs to Malcolm. I was never sure if there was a comma after Big or not - but it didn't make a real difference the blouse would still have to be large or bigger.

I always liked this expression, it was often used to coax me into doing things that seemed like they would be too challenging. I think back and alot of the things that you are scared of as a child aren't actually scary - Girls, losing,Teenagers, the dark, heights, brocoli, liver, cleaning fish, roller coasters, French Homework, Hard Work, responsibility, Vegetables, monsters, Dracula, Nucular war, etc...

So I'm glad that I had my mom and dad to urge me along my way-

Mind you "FEAR" has it's place and it's purpose - If it's overcome or faced than it can open up the world to you, if you let it control you, it can cause hate and intolerance - which, as it turns out are truly Scary things.

If you need any more info on the subject I think that George Lucas made 6 little movies about this topic.

...Game Blouses...

Rooster Dink Pink...

One of Malcolm's more colourful expressions - pun intented - he uses this to describe things that are very pink - I haven't checked out any rooster's - so I'll just take Malcolm's word for it.

Speaking of pink - I didn't know there were that many pink clothes out there, we have them all now, as far as I can figure - we had three wonderful baby showers - and your young one is coming into the world with all the bling out there - so thank you to everyone - very generous and deeply appreciated.

I really like the fact that dad was so colurful in his use of language - he's also on occasion been accused of using colourful language, but that's not what I'm talking about here -it's his abilty to turn the everyday things, into an event, or a joke or whatever - it has in turn made my life a little more colourful than it might have been.

Awareness (http://mayfairplace.blogspot.com) a co -worker and I were discussing what it was to be a maritimer - and one colourful language is definately part of it, but the thing that she said that struck me was "authentic modesty" - never thought of it before but I think she's right on - we are quick to accept blame, but never to anxious to accept the credit, rather we credit those around us - that's why I love to live where I do. That and the weather, why not 10 minutes ago it was snowing and now there is blinding sun - as the guy at the movie store punned yesterday - hey it's the maritimes - sooner or later it's porn (poring) -

anyways - back to pink - I'm sure that this colour will play a big part in my life and that of my child at least between months 3-6 because that's almost all we've got, so boy or girl they'll be wearing that Rooster dink colour...

Dry as a Popcorn Fart...

We've had a dry winter - dry as in there hasn't been much snow, and dry as I am on Baby watch and wouldn't want to be in a drunken state where, if required I wouldn't be able to drive my wife to the hospital, were she to go into labour.

The expression is weird frankly - I didn't know that popcorn could fart?

In stark contrast, our neighbours the Newfies have been getting alot of snow - which could necessiate having a few Black Horse or Pony Club's as there's no way to get out of your house.

So we should be happy- St. Paddy's day is two weeks off and there's sun in the Sky.

No Brighter than a Big Hen...

This is one of the expressions that I find myself saying quite a bit - I'm Lactose Intolerant - which doesn't mean I Hate Milk - it means that my system has a problem breaking down the ensymes in milk products - I think (I'd have to check with Mom, she's the Biologist) - anyways this afternoon I ordered a clubhouse sandwich, hold the tomatoes (I am Tomato Intolerant), but add cheese - I thought nothing of it - so then again at supper (S&B Pork Chops and Baked Potatoes) I decide that I'm going to have a glass of milk - I look over and Nic is shaking her head at me - I thought to myself "No Brighter than a Big Hen" - Anyways I got thinking about it, why such a big chicken, and why is a big chicken smarter than a normal sized chicken - all good questions - I think the beauty in this expression lies in the way it rolls off your tongue - and the universal knowledge that chickens can't be all that intelligent, afterall they are food.

I got to thinking of this expression this afternoon - I was thinking about my uncle, who after a night out came home, sans keys and being respectful of the hour of his arrival decided to sneak his way into his room - his room as luck would have it was on the second floor, and the ladder that was in the back yard was a few feet shorter (about 7) and a few years older than he required, so as everyone knows, your IQ is at it's peak late at night, so he decided that he would bridge the distance required by using various backyard items - the plan was flawless, but as he got to the very top of the ladder (The Old Ladder) a rung gave way, which led to a chain reaction of breaking rungs and the ladder slipped off it's perch, going through the bathroom window - As the story goes he put a plan B into full effect and crawled in the basement window, and was found by my Grandfather, leaning on the stairs whistling.

I love this story - shows that I come from a long line of silly people, natural problem solvers that tend to see the possibilty in any situation and gladly accept the consequences- leaning on the stairs smiling, let's see a big hen do that...

Lucky as a Pig in Shit...

This is not a true Malcolmism - he uses it plenty, but I figure he's paying royalties to a pig farmer somewhere. It's weird to think that the pig is considered lucky - because when i Was "In Shit" that wasn't good - but I guess it's all relative - because the alternative could be something like as unlucky as a pig at a BBQ - where I would consider myself to be quite lucky, but I'd guess that the pig would be wondering why it's so hot and who stuffed this apple in his mouth. I guess the point is you're lucky to feel at home somewhere.

Dad Also has an expression that deals with luck, involving a doublely endowded canine - it's a bit gross - and I guess he'd be lucky because he gets to do what he likes, and then some.

Luck is a fickle mistress - but she's fair - "the harder you work the luckier you are" - dad also says this and it's true.

So from these expressions I can draw some sweet conclusions - you are a lucky person if you are working hard doing something you like to do in a place where you feel comfortable.

I always knew I was a little lucky...