Busy as a Hen Hauling Logs...

My dad is a busy guy - as you can tell : he has more than one expression for being busy - this is a very odd mental picture but I think it illustrates the amount of stress that the poor chicken would be under - Logs aren't light and Chicken aren't oxen - so there you go.

Busy is good - Canada and Cindy Klassen have been busy at the Olympics - 24 medals (5 for Klassen) - that's awesome - and good on the Swedes for winning Men's hockey - looks good for the Sens this year as well.

I'm on baby watch - waiting for those magic words "Time To Go" only 19 days left until the baby comes - I'm super excited. My work had a suprise baby shower for me last friday - I was very impressed with the generosity of all the people I work with - and the fact that they kept it a secret from me for over a month - I pride myself on knowing what's up at work and that one slipped right past - I'm glad it did, because I'm not suprised too often.

Tomorrow I give my first Esteem Team Talk - in front of a group of grade 8 kids in Stanley - I'm nervous about it - I think dad once told me that it's good to be nervous before you do something challenging, it means that you care about the outcome - I also could have picked that up from one of my team mates who actually gets physically ill before the really big games or an ABC After School Special, but I think it was dad. Anyways I'm nervous, but excited - Fake It Till You Make It - as a sports psychologist once said.

Hopefully tomorrow I make it...

Best Horse in The Glue Factory...

This is a good expression - obviously you'd rather be the best horse on the Track, say in the winner's circle, and not preparing to be the main ingrediant in Glue, but if you have to do something do it as well as you can?

I know that all across this great country people were glued to the TV this afternoon and I think that Hockey Canada learned a valuable lesson, watching the best Players that Canada could throw out on the ice get beaten by a good russian hockey team. which really sucks! Being a Canadian, I wanted our boys to win, to bring home the gold once more, just like the women , now there a team, they allowed 2 goals in 6 games - our guys, from the best country in the world, only scored 3 goals over 4 games - mind you the women had spent the last 8 months together, that is the big difference.

So I guess we'll have to be content with coming in second in medals at this olympics and start training a squad to win that men's hockey gold and bring it back to Canada in 2010.

Until then you can rest assured Canada will stick by you...

Like a Turd From a Tall Cow's Ass...

This is one of Dad's most favorite expressions, he said that he first heard it in relation to one guy on the Miramichi taking a punch in the face and then returning the favour by punching that guy back in the head, at which time he fell... and the rest is his story. This is one of those good mental picture Malcolmisms - you can picture a tall cow, who must have long legs, otherwise it would be a long cow, doing his duty (Pun intended) in a field somewhere and almost hear the noise that it makes as it hits the ground.

This expression is a hard one to use very often, because frankly how often do you hear that noise? That being said - the sidelines at a rugby park may be one of the best places to hang out if you would fancy using this expression - because at least once a game someone get hit and they hit the ground - I've actually heard that noise during the game.

Have a great Tuesday, stay away from those tall cows, or watch where you walk,

Yeah, that's right. Turd Ferguson. It's a funny name...

Doesn't Know Whether to Shit or Go Blind...

Now this is a expression about indecision - illustratrated by two very different alternatives - I have a feeling that this is the start or the end on a bigger expression - I also have a feeling that it has something to do with war - maybe it's a new recruit's reaction to his first taste of the combat - he is so scared that his mind can't decide whether to crap his pants or basically close his eyes and pretend that it isn't happening - as we know neither option is correct, being scared never solved any problems, nor did ignoring them - they are however two very common reactions to changes in one's life.

My life is about to change dramatically, I'm going to become a DAD, not just a father, I want to be an honest to goodness DAD. I've had a ton of fantastic Father figures in my life, and I hope to settle my feet into those big shoes and hope my feet can grow a size or two. So when I get faced with some real life DAD decisions - I'll be looking for the third option...

Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.


It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

W.E. Henley

I always really liked this poem - I think I read it in Grade 10 or 11 for the first time - I think it's about perseverance, which is a very cool thing. Popped back into my mind while I was homesick in NZ

Busier Than a One Armed Paper Hanger...

Now this expression conjures up quite a picture - The poor dude would have to somehow hold the paper up, with one arm, and spread the glue quickly with that same arm. anyways it's busy...

I got to thinking about this as I am quite busy these days myself, we're awaiting the baby, I'm the Chair of Advertising and Promotions for the Fredericton Youth Services Partnership youth Forum (May 4th at the Market - Be There) I'm starting to do presentations for the Esteem Team (March 1st at Devon Middle School), we're fundraising for our Rugby Club's trip to the national championship and I work ... If it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger - isn't that what they say?

Being busy is good, being stressed out is useless - you can only do what you can do, write it down, make it happen, rinse, repeat. Being stressed actually takes up the time that you claim you don't have - so when you feel like a one legged midget in an ass kicking contest (Not my dad's, but a great expression) take a deep breath and focus on the task at hand, it sounds easier than it actually is, but if you don't think about the other things you have to do the thing you are doing at that moment seems quite do able. Someone asked me once "How would you eat an elephant" - I thought about it and said "One Bite at a time - Barbequed"

Have a great weekend - if you see someone in need, lend them a hand...

Like Shit Through a Tin Horn...

This is dad's expression for Speed - I'm not quite sure what a Tin Horn is, or why someone would use it for that, but I guess when the two meet some major velocity is produced. While thinking about this expression one person comes to mind - Andy Newguy. That guy is fast, but I also started to think about speed and time and all of that stuff, which is kind of hard on the head frankly.

I have been to six schools in Freddy in the past two days - at Devon I ran into my grade 4 teacher Mlle. Roy - She didn't recognise me, but when informed who I was she exclaimed "little Scott MacAfee", as I was about 4'2" in grade 4 if memory serves me - she called us the Class from hell, she also informed me that - all of this happened in 1980, 26 years ago, crazy! seems like yesterday to me. Then onto George Street where former Social Studies turned Vice Principal gave me a tour of the school - big changes, same smell (very odd) - then on to Albert - the Principal asked me if I went to Albert, I said I only came to their dances, then FHS and so on. It really takes you back, I've lived a lifetime since then, but it's flown by.

WE are expecting a baby sometime in the next 29 days (My wife is hoping for fewer) and it seems like forever, but it's the waiting for something makes it better - I guess the waiting is the work that you put into something that makes it worthwhile in the end.

Today also reminded me of some words a great man once said "Life moves pretty fast sometimes, if you don't stop and look around every now and then it will pass you by" - Ferris Bueller (He influenced my Junior High career)

So today I went for a walk and looked around , not a Tin Horn in sight...

Like Kissing Your Sister...

It's a weird one and whenever dad uses it it generates quite the number of puzzled looks - he usually uses it in relation to a tied game. Now I've never really thought about this that hard - but I'm going to try to figure it out.

here's what I figure

1- you played the game, but the result wasn't what you were looking for
2- at least you're kissing someone, but in this case no one wins
3- make sure that this never happens again, that's disgusting...

anyways that's just a weird thing to say in any context.

It may not be one of his best, but it's one of his oddest...

As Charlie Loverboy once said of one of his employees - "He's not much of a worker, but he's slow"

Our Gang...

This is one of the best expressions that dad ever used, he wasn't talking about Spanky or Alfalfa or even Darla - he would use it to describe our family, Mom, Dad, Megs and myself - that was our gang.

He used it alot when I was a teenager and seeking independance - funnily I have always had the pleasure and the luxury of being surrounded by people that "had my back" to use some gang lingo - When I was young it was my family, then the Paceys, then all the neighbours, then various sport coaches and teams, then the Boys, then the Loyalists, and now back to the family. Now "our gang also comprises my wife and will soon comprise our first child - my own little Gang.

Teenagers never really fit in, or at least they don't believe they do, they are going through some weird wild stuff and haven't quite figured out their role - the best thing that my parents ever showed me (and my Sister, Wife, Simon, Jackman, Aaen) was that even if I never fit in, I always belonged...to "Our Gang"

So Happy Valentine's Day Gang

Sure as a Shit in a Goose...

This would seem to be Malcolm's way of expressing a universal certainty - geese must be a lot like politicians at election time - like that old question about Bears in the woods - it's "fer sure". I was left feeling this way after this past weekend - We had a cold snap, followed by a snow storm - the recent warm weather had people thinking that Mother Nature had spared New Brunswick of her cruelest joke - but like a workaholic that finally comes home after a long week away- the negelcted children get lots of attention on the weekend. I knew it was going to happen, it had to - It's winter in the Maritimes.

I know that this expression seeminly flies directly in the face of another great Malcolmism "Nothing is Never, or Always..." but it actually supports it - actually more about reliability and consistancy - that sooner or later that goose is going to have to take a dump - less of a question of if, and more a question of when.

Change is the only constant - someone famous said that one time - and on that note My Sister started a new Job at SNB today - after 4 years at the Delta GRS she decided that she needed a change - so bravely change she did, good work Megs. Everything can change in a second, or in the Olympics in a 1000000 of one (In the Luge) - So appreciate the snow and the cold - even if you just complain - appreciate it, because as the seasons change we'll find other things to complain about. So take this opportunity to enjoy the beauty of Snow and Cold.

Fairly soon you could be complaining about the flooding or the mud or the heat or something sure as a shit in a goose...

You're With Me...

This full expression is "you can do anything you want, you're with me" - Dad said this to us lots as we grew up, even said it to our friends - so that they were able to do whatever they wanted to do, as long as they were with him. What a great feeling to think that anything was possible, what big dreams you could dream. Now that we've grown taller (Grown up might be a stretch) I've said this to my friends on occasion, as has my sister, funny what rubs off?

I always had the sense of unlimited possibility when I was with my Dad or my surrogate father Peter Pacey - he had a birthday yesterday - he also always filled me that feeling of "anything's possible" - afterall we were with him. Growing up I must have spent almost as much time at the Pacey's as I did at my own house. The tall tales that were told by Peter Prince, moulded my imagination (Still believe that you can start a fire inside a frozen moose and eat your way out) - coupled with actor's props and a fantastic number of hats (this could be why Peter is always involved in everything - trying to keep up to his hat collection)

Anyways, Pete, thanks for everything - hope you enjoy wearing that Birthday Hat at least until Sunday, and if you get into any trouble over the weekend tell them that you're with me...

Couldn't Buy a Sick Whore an Orange...

This expression comes to mind every second Wednesday, as every second Thursday is Pay Day - this is an expression about being sans funds, monetarily challenged or simply broke.

This is one of the most visual expressions that Malcolm uses, it is also one of the most puzzling, for the following reasons:

1- Why are you buying something for a whore?, let alone a sick whore
2- What does the whore want with the orange? Vitamin C?
3- How much could an orange possibly cost?

These are the questions that arise in my mind everytime I hear this expression.

I think there has to be something more to this expression, maybe it got shortened over the years - maybe there was a second half that answered some of the above questions - maybe the entire thing is about charity - the fact that you have no money, but if you did you would spend it on buying an orange for the downtrodden, I don't know but what I do know is that, it's fun to say and makes me smile every time I hear it.

Orange you glad I didn't say Banana...

A Trip's a Trip...

What an odd thing to say - and dad says it lots - I used to think that it was some kind of Hippie slogan that Malcolm hung on to from the late sixties - but what it really means is "to each their own" - people will almost always do the best they can with what they have - and your trip is not better or worse than someone else's - it's just different.

I guess that this would be dad's lesson on tolerance and acceptance all rolled into one. While everyone has a different trip, the start and end points are the same - we are all born and we all die. How cool is that, not the dying part, but the shared experience part, the common ground that we share with everyone, not that you'll remember your birth, or you'll forsee you end - but that you came from the same place and you'll go to the same place.

What makes one "trip" better than another - nothing.

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself" Max Ehrmann said this in 1927 - it's stands true today - it's on a poster in my office, I really like it, not for that line but for the way he wraps it all up "Strive to be happy." everyone has a different trip - that's not important, what is important is to enjoy your own trip and let others enjoy (or not enjoy) theirs.

A Trip's a Trip, and I'm definately enjoying mine...

It's Better to be Over the Hill than Under It..

What a great statement on growing older - The hill is a funny analogy that we seem to use for life in general. Basically it's good to be alive - seems to work for me. My boss (Supervisor) turned 50 today - now when I was 10 - 50 seemed like a lifetime away, but now that I'll be 35 in a few months it hardly seems old at all.

I think as a child your "hill" is very steep and may peak at 13 when you become "a Teenager" and when you're a teenager, 19 is the milestone, you'll become "Legal". It depends where you live, but if it is anywhere near a US Boarder at 19 you start looking forward to 21 so you'll be able to drink in the states. After 21 you'll wrestle with jobs, Education and relationships - and by 30 you could have a career, a degree and a Wife - seems like we're still climbing a "hill" - then comes kids (Who help to drag you up that hill again) and furthering your career, but it all seems to keep getting better - by now that steep hill that the 10 year old saw turned into a very long slope with a gentle incline. It's all downhill from here? or is it -when does this crazy hill peak? there always seems to be some challenge to conquer - maybe it's retirement or seeing your grandkids be born- or taking a trip around the world - "The Hill" seems less to do with your age and more to do with your perspective, as long as you can see a peak, have you ever reached the Top? or does it only seem like you're going downhill because you're looking backwards?

Here's to many days in the sun on top of that hill - whatever you see it to be.

Happy Birthday John.

Two or Three Kinds of the Very Best...

This is my dad's response to how she goin' -Some people would say "The Very Best" - a smart ass would answer "The Hairy Chest" but my dad was always better than just "the very best" he was two or three kinds of it.

Today I'll use it to describe my Family and Friends. We had a baby shower yesterday - less than 6 weeks to go until the due date, St. Patrick's day coincidently enough... and it was awesome - people are so generous - the people with kids know what you really need and they are passing on subtle lessons through their gift giving. We got tons of great stuff - our little girl is going to be well decked out in pink - or if it happens to be a boy will refer to his 3-6 month period as his "pink phase" - either way the gifts were appreciated.

I love being in a room with people that you've known your whole life - your best friends in the world - it's very relaxing - everybody knows everybody - and there no WORK involved. You know those uncomfortable silences that happen when you are at a party and you've really run out of obvious things to talk about with someone you've just met - those don't happen - there are no uncomfortable silences, just silences.

Every now and again you want to tell the people in your life how important they are to you, which is necessary - but there are those who have always been there (even when they weren't) and realise that their importance to you doesn't need to be spoken - because it's obvious - it's just understood.

Now that's two or three kinds of the very best...

20 for 10...

My dad is not your average guy and this expression, almost more than any other, demonstrates this. He has a larger than life attitude- that's what makes this expression so funny, It was conceived as a drink special at the Riverview Arms - which might be equivalent to a Fredericton Atlantis, the elders speak of it, there are many legendary tales that have been reported to have transpired there, and yet all the world sees now is a bunch of really nice oversized houses.

I guess they used to have an special there when you bought a draught, you'd get one free - now your average bear would refer to this as a "2 for 1 deal" not Malcolm - that's a 20 for 10...

It's been a rough week - here's to friends and making it to the weekend, 20 for 10 here I come...

Forget the Losses, Exaggerate the Wins...

Dad always said this about rugby, but after thinking about it for awhile - I took something new from it.

This week there has been a couple of big losses, two untimely deaths - men taken in the prime of life - and after attending the first funeral of the week yesterday - I thought of the loss that the family and friends were going through and my heart goes out to them, but my memories of these men were extrodinary - Those are the victories, the positives that we can take away, the funny stories, the warm smiles, the fantastic laughter.

The celebration of a life well lived is what I will be attending tonight - Just as Dick would have wanted it- to be surrounded by the people he loved and that loved him in return.

The Power of Positive thinking is incredible - If we are always looking towards the bright side - it makes that darkness at your back far more bearable. Looking past the storm to the sunrise, and seeing the beauty in both.

I think that each of us passes away to our own heaven - or at least I hope so - I know Brian is sitting on top of the Green Monster at Fenway waiting for Summer with a Schooner in hand while Dick is somewhere on the Nashwaak having fun being silly smiling-

So here's to Brian and Dick and two lives well lived...

Like Two People Tied Together...

Dad uses this expression to describe a person that is very large - so large in fact that the person more resembles two people that were somehow bound together. This is just a funny expression nothing deep about it at all.

Dad actually used this expression last night - followed by another "Looks like a Professional Wrestler", but the person that Dad most uses this expression about is his oldest Brother Jim.

Big Jim, as he's known to the residents of Truro, is my uncle - he's a larger than life man - as a child I can remember him picking me up with one hand under my arm and lifting me up so that my head would touch the ceiling. He's recovering from knee surgury and doing very well - He has two awesome Daughters, a fantastic wife and a very cute granddaughter.

There is a story that "back in the day" the bars in Truro used to call Jim and Marie before they called the cops, when a brawl broke out in their bar. My favorite "Uncle Jimmy" story is one that occured at the UNB Student Union Building, there was a post rugby reception so everyone was on their best behaviour, except for this one guy who took a shine to Marie, when she refused his advances he got mouthy, and in an attempt to prevent Jimmy from ending his evening Marie and he went outside. The guy inside grew braver on account of the pane of glass and was being quite rude. Jimmy had enough and the next time that this guy put his face to the window Jimmy punched him through it - knocked him out and shattered the glass (I don't know how much fact there is behind this feat, but it's an awesome story regardless)

The above picture is of Dad and Jim at my parents wedding.

So I guess you could also use that expression for someone who almost had too much personality to simply be just one man.